Reflection Entry 4 Draft 4

throughout my research i was very surprised to find out that in the article by Stader, fifty percent of high school student who are involved in a relationship experience some sort of abuse from their partner while in school and also outside of school. I always knew that violence occurs in these setting, but i didn't know the statistic was that high. It was shocking to me that school authority didn't take this as serious as they should. the student spend most of their days at school, why shouldn't it be a place where they are guaranteed safety and security. 

also a lot of boys involved in relationship are abused by their girlfriends either physically or emotionally. they're the one who don't report these situation or seek help from outsider. society expect men to be tough and brave and handle any situation, which makes it hard for them to report it, they'll feel some sort of shame or they think that society will judge them for getting beat up by a female. studies have actually shown that males are getting abuse as much as females, but more of the reports are reported by female. with that, male shouldn't be neglected in this issue. they should be able to seek help without any shame or guilt. Before my research I've always thought that the majority of the victim were female, but female are just as violent as any male.


From my research I realized that anyone can be a victim. A person can look strong and it seems like they're handling the situation very well. In an abusive relationship the victim can look fine one day but anger progress, there's a cycle when it comes to these kind of relationship, the abuse will eventually be more harmful and even fatal if the victim don't push themselves away from these relationship.

Maternal relationship- Entry 3 Draft 4

In the article written by Nicodemus " The Effects Of Maternal Relationships On Physical and Psychological Dating Violence", he presented the idea that the relationship the child have with their mother affects their behavior. If a male have a bad relationship with his mother in their childhood, it will mostly be brought up to their adult life.  Behaviors such as always using hurtful words to put the child down,slapping the child or any other physical action, neglecting the child, or using the child to fulfill their unmet emotion. A child growing up in this situation will tend to be more violent towards their mate.

I disagree with that idea. seeing from my own eyes, i have seen a few guys who been brought up with verbal abuse from their mother. the guy that i knew was always being put down by his mother, he was told he wasn't smart enough and since he was adopted he was told nobody wanted him. the guy didn't seem to hold any anger or grudges towards female, rather he still respected his mother and treated her like how a child suppose to treat their mother. Today he treats his girlfriend like how every girl wants to be treated by their boyfriend, he's still kind and gentle towards her even through everything that he been through in his childhood.  I guess everyone is different, some people knows what's right and what's wrong to do. but i don't think that having a bad relationship with your mother as a child will create a violent person. male with their hormones and everything will tend to be more aggressive, but some doesn't know quite well how to control it.

In an article that I've read in my english class, "Gender Roles Behaviors and Attitude" by Aaron Devor. In this article he talked about the role that our culture place on gender. This role is expected from birth and till the rest of our lives.  He also said that male in society are expected to be the figure that are in control and the one that have more power in the relationship. I think that a lot of people who want to be the one to hold all the power in the relationship will try to control their partner to an intense level. society make a man look weak if he is under control of his woman, so therefore the man will be more aggressive and intimidating towards his partner to gain control.

Why school should get involved- Entry 2 Draft 4

We spend most of our days in school right? so why shouldn't school be held responsible to teach students on how to develop healthy relationship. The majority of teens in high school are dating and almost half of that percent are experiencing some sort of violence in their relationship. Teenagers most likely do not have the skill or knowledge to make the right decision by themselves. They may not know what a healthy relationship look like and what an unhealthy relationship looks like. They cannot distinguished the differences, so they should be able to seek help and guidance from the adults at the school.

From the article "dating violence" written by a professor at Southeast Missouri State University, David Stader, he conducted a research through out 8 different schools and data showed that over a quarter of that were female victims who reported violence in their relationship.If that is the case school should be offering help since this situation can be fatal. I agree with this article completely on that students should be educated on relationship and that the teachers should also be able to recognize signs of an unhealthy relationship and provide them help. 

Being able to develop a healthy relationship is part of healthy living. In a healthy relationship there are respect, trust, honesty and good communication between the two people involved. While in an unhealthy relationship all those signs are not well established. there might be pressure from one of the participant to do things that the other may not feel very comfortable doing. In an abusive relationship one of the person may try to control everything that goes on in the relationship, which may cause a lot of disagreements and fights.

when i was in this kind of relationship, I didn't really know where to seek advice. I wasn't close to my parents and they didn't approve of me dating at the time either, so asking them for advice wouldn't be any help to me, that's what I was thinking at the time. Also I was afraid to seek help from friends, I was scared to be judge by them. I didn't want anyone to see how weak I was for staying with someone who verbally abused me. This is what lead me to agree with Stader article, school should be more involved in providing education and help on developing healthy relationship. I spent most of my days in school, that was the place i felt most comfortable and safe in.

 

how it all started- Entry 1 Draft 4

Teen Dating Violence seems to be very common nowadays. I chose this topic because I wanted to find out more about the result of being involved in a situation where you are being abused by your intimate partner at a young age. Another reason why I was lead to this topic was because I myself was involved in this kind of relationship. It was definitely very unhealthy and stressful even if punches or hits wasn't being thrown, just being in an environment where you're verbally hurt can do a lot of damage.Till today i still think about the relationship that i had and reflect on what i have now, and i try to not get myself in that situation again. I may have been a victim but i was also the abuser, i was also the one that was putting my boyfriend at the time down and saying hurtful things. The actions was back and forth between us.

 I wanted to do this topic to share the experience that I had and also to shine lights to a subject where not a lot of thoughts are put into. 1 out of 4 teens are involved in an abusive relationship at least once in their dating experience (stader). that's a quarter of our youth population; meanwhile there aren't many therapy and help that these teens can seek. through this research I'm hoping to gain more knowledge on the subject and discover the statistic from surveys that have been conducted, so that i can share with everyone how serious this issue is.I think everyone should be able to relate to this topic, it's very common. in our lifetime we know at least one person who are suffering from the result of violence from their intimate partner, and knowing the affects of these relationship will better you to help those people that are affected by it.